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Like so many women before her, Florence Falk found herself divorced, alone, and unsure of herself. Soon she realized that by embracing her solitude for what it was—a potentially enriching and life-altering experience—she could turn what once would have felt like “loneliness” into a far more positive and empowered “aloneness.” Falk notes that each of us has two opposing drives: one causes us to yearn to make close connections with others, and the other pulls us back into ourselves, into the need for selfhood and certainty that can only be shaped through solitude. In order to be whole, she says, we must heed both of those impulses. But in our modern culture, the former is stressed while the latter is neglected, even vilified. On My Own boldly shifts that paradigm.
With inspiring, intimate stories of women from all backgrounds, Falk illuminates the essential role that being alone plays in women’s lives. Whether she is in a stable relationship or on her own, every woman must learn to be by herself; for if she can be fully free, unfettered by society’s stigmas about being alone, life and all its possibilities will open up for her. And as Falk demonstrates, once a woman has discovered the richness of solitude, she is not likely to give it up so easily.
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Creators
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Publisher
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Release date
March 20, 2007 -
Formats
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Kindle Book
- ISBN: 9780307394507
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OverDrive Read
- ISBN: 9780307394507
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EPUB ebook
- ISBN: 9780307394507
- File size: 394 KB
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Languages
- English
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Reviews
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January 1, 2007
After two divorces and more than two decades as a psychoanalyst, Falk is an expert on the concept of being a woman alone—a term she prefers because "as a distinct category within women's culture, it formally elevates our presence and status, helps us to achieve visibility and expression, and allows us to redress our marginalized state." Hyperbole aside, there's no denying that to embrace being a woman alone isn't easy in a society where "bachelors are always eligible," while " 'spinsters,' almost by definition, are ready for the dumpster." But as Falk makes clear in this useful and appealing manual, it's inaccurate, unfair and unhealthy to equate being alone with being unwanted or a failure. Some may cringe at her flowery language, but she offers plenty of evidence for her central thesis that "aloneness is an opportunity, a state brimming with potentiality, with resources for renewed life." Drawing from her own experiences, those of her patients, and examples from such writers as Marion Milner and cultural figures like Kitty Carlisle Hart, Falk offers plenty of material to help even women with partners to understand the distinction between being abandoned and choosing to be alone, and to appreciate the healing and nurturing benefits of solitude. -
February 15, 2007
Many women fear being alone. Society not only often marginalizes women who are unattached, divorced, or unmarried, but women are also subtlety socialized to compare and define themselves in relation to others. Psychotherapist Falk discusses different types of aloneness and the role aloneness plays in women's psychological development from childhood to old age. Using examples from literature, popular culture, and her own practice, she shows how time alone can be positive and provides creative space for learning about oneself and for clarifying needs, desires, and goals. More a reflective psychological study than a guide for making changes, this book may test the patience of the self-help crowd. It's often wordy and lost the interest of this reviewer. Recommended for women's studies and self-help collections where needed.Lucille Boone, San Jose P.L., CACopyright 2007 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
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