Laughing at My Nightmare

Starred review from September 1, 2014
In this no-holds-barred autobiography, 21-year-old Burcaw sheds light on what it has been like to grow up with spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), a deadly disease that has left him confined to a wheelchair and dependent on others “for pretty much every aspect of staying alive,” due to his inability to develop and maintain muscles. Burcaw tells all—including the difficulties of getting dressed, turning over at night, or relieving himself—in a frank, funny, and sometimes profane manner
(“It probably looks like we are filming a multi-fetish porno involving severely disabled people and urination”). His honesty, tempered by mordant humor and a defiant acceptance, is refreshing, even as he thumbs his nose at the disease that is slowly stripping him of the basics. Burcaw has blogged about his experiences and launched a nonprofit organization to spread his message of remaining “positive in the face of adversity through the use of humor,” though the hard realities of the disease (the need for feeding tubes, the risk of infections) are never far from view. It’s engaging, inspirational, and eye-opening. Ages 14–up. Agent: Tina Wexler, ICM.

September 1, 2014
True to its title, this gallows-humor-inflected memoir offers a frank look at life as a lucky young man with a potentially fatal disease. Burcaw sets the tone of his candid memoir with a memorable introduction: the view of his brother Andrew's ankle hair as Andrew helps him to urinate. Burcaw has spinal muscular atrophy, a progressive disease affecting his whole body. Fortunately, he's also surrounded by supportive family and friends. He's parlayed his experiences-from a broken femur and feeding tubes to romance-into a popular Tumblr also called Laughing at My Nightmare, leading him to start a nonprofit. With snark, swagger and self-deprecation, Burcaw explains from the beginning ("I was the laziest fetus you'd ever meet") how SMA has shaped his mission. Expository vignettes jump from childhood to college and back to high school, detailing how his mischievous nature and sense of humor have set him apart from other students with disabilities and eased his insecurities. Teens with and without disabilities should be able to relate to Burcaw's obsession with appearing as typical as possible, though his judgment of other students with disabilities-disclaimers notwithstanding-gets old. Boys in particular, perhaps, will appreciate his unflinching discussion of sex and disability, a rarely explored question. When things get too heavy, quips in speech bubbles lighten the mood. With reflections camouflaged in wisecracks, Burcaw demonstrates that a little humor goes a long way. (Memoir. 14-18)

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August 1, 2014

Gr 10 Up-Burcaw is like any other 21-year-old guy. He loves sports, video games, and bathroom humor; enjoys hanging out with his friends; and has had several girlfriends. The only thing that makes him different is that he has done all of this while in a wheelchair. Burcaw was born with a rare neuromuscular disease known as spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), which hinders his muscles' ability to grow and repair themselves. Instead of growing bigger and stronger with age, he becomes weaker and smaller. As a result of the disease, Burcaw depends on his friends and family when it comes to completing everyday tasks. Throughout, he shares many humorous and touching stories about growing up and living with his disease. These tales leave nothing to the imagination, including descriptions of how he uses the bathroom or has sexual interactions, and the author occasionally employs some graphic language. Burcaw's narrative will resonate with readers, who will laugh along with the funny stories, cringe at the awkward moments, and tear up at the emotionally charged parts. A poignant story that provides a fresh perspective on life.-Annalise Ammer, City of Rochester Public Libraries, NY

Copyright 2014 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

November 15, 2014
Grades 9-12 Burcaw has spent most of his life in a wheelchair with progressively debilitating spinal muscular atrophy, but instead of soberly presenting the ups and downs of a potentially bleak existence, he pens an uplifting, laugh-out-loud memoir that calls out the absurdity of his circumstances, and the joy he finds in the everyday. He shares such universal moments as cops-and-robbers games in preschool, as well as more unique, intimate details of his physical reality, such as the demands of excretion, or how he pursues a healthy young-adult sex life when he is keenly aware that his weakening neck can't quite hold up his head. Quick-witted Burcaw demonstrates mastery in expressing accessible insights that are well padded in humor, as well as a realistic awareness of his situation, leavened by tongue-in-cheek hyperbole, none of which gives way to off-putting egoism or navel gazing. Burcaw's smart, gracious, and funny take on his life is an object lesson in positivity, and this eloquently written and moving memoir would easily find a home in both adult and youth collections.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2014, American Library Association.)

January 1, 2015
With brutal honesty, snarky humor, and a profound sense of absurdity, twenty-one-year-old wise-guy blogger Burcaw recounts the trials and tribulations of growing up with spinal muscular atrophy, with which he was diagnosed at age two. The conversational tone mixes information and personal anecdotes, putting a human face on a rare disability. An engaging, ultimately life-affirming memoir for teens.

(Copyright 2015 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)