A List of Things That Didn't Kill Me

November 3, 2014
Schmidt’s memoir—which spans his childhood to late adolescence and chronicles his abuse and near homelessness at the hands of his drug-addicted gay father—is an emotionally demanding read. The memoir finds its strongest foothold in the primary relationship between father and son, particularly the wrenching scenes of Schmidt’s father’s rage and misguided devotion, packed between descriptions of a 1970s and ’80s West Coast counterculture childhood. As the author grows and begins to connect his own abusive actions and self-neglect to his childhood, the main relationship becomes buried in a jarring deflection of his father’s death from AIDS, the sudden adoption of a friendly volunteer as guardian, and overwrought details of his own burgeoning dating life, infused with Star Wars references (before his first kiss, Schmidt writes, “The best model I had for this kind of thing was Princess Leia and Han Solo at the end of The Empire Strikes Back”). If the turnaround moment for a teenage Schmidt arrives too late in the book to have the impact it might, the heavy burden of his early life is keenly felt. Ages 12–up. Agent: Jill Grinberg, Jill Grinberg Literary Management.

October 15, 2014
A man whose emotionally unstable father moved him from home to home throughout the 1970s and '80s before dying of AIDS tells his story.Schmidt was only 3 when his father was arrested on drug charges. In lucid, careful detail, he recalls being packed off to his grandparents'. He explains the drastic difference between their home and his return to life with his dad, exemplified by his father's reframing of the Christ story taught to young Schmidt by his conservative stepgrandmother: "That's a government lie. The truth is, Jesus was part alien." It's comical in this case, but the chasm that yawns between his dad's anti-mainstream ideals, which his son often finds sympathetic, and his neglect and unpredictable temper is a theme throughout. Matter-of-fact descriptions of horrific events-his father, while stoned, recalling how he once threw Jason's mother down a flight of stairs and later tried to kill himself, for example-allow the story to stand for itself, unmarred by melodrama. At bottom, this is an intensely personal narrative that meditates both on the writer's individual experience of abuse and the social issues at play in being the son of a gay father who becomes ill with HIV in its early days. Teens and adults who favor memoirs will be fascinated and deeply moved, when they get past the daunting page count. (Memoir. 14 & up)

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May 1, 2015

Gr 10 Up-In this disturbing, heartbreaking, and inspiring memoir, Schmidt provides an account of an unstable childhood and adolescence. The prologue begins with Schmidt at age 16, coming home to discover his father crawling around the floor, covered in blood. The author then pulls back, describing his early years. After Schmidt's parents separated, his father, Mark, took custody of him. The two moved from one decrepit home to the next in Seattle, as Mark abused and sold drugs, barely earning a living. Schmidt's voice will resonate with teens as he writes candidly about his father's negligence and abuse, adeptly capturing what it was like to grow up impoverished, the hostility he encountered at school, the injuries and illnesses he endured, his difficulty finding and keeping friends, and the challenges of adjusting to his gay father's unstable romantic and sexual life. As Schmidt grew older, he believed more and more that he and Mark could never become "straights," or normal people. When the author reached adolescence, during the early 1980s, Mark and many of his friends were diagnosed with AIDS. It was a period when many gay men were dying, when those with HIV faced stigma, and when the effectiveness of medical treatment was minimal. Once realizing his father's fate, Schmidt feared what the future had in store but was inspired to take control of his life. VERDICT This unflinchingly honest work is a strong choice for readers who appreciate unfiltered stories, can stomach gruesome details, or aspire to work in social services.-Jess Gafkowitz, New York Public Library

Copyright 2015 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

November 15, 2014
Grades 9-12 I lived my life in pieces. That's a tidy encapsulation of Schmidt's tormented upbringing, the focus of his devastating memoir. Raised by his drug-dealing, ex-con father, Schmidt lived around the Pacific Northwest throughout the grim 1980s among strung-out squatters in decrepit homes (and even, once, a storage unit). The litany of physical and emotional abuse Schmidt endures is unbelievably staggering: His father beats and berates him. He is sexually preyed upon by a school principal. He is socially isolated as he and his dad nomadically relocate. Poor, dirty, and perpetually unsupervised, Schmidt threatens to run away, only to have his father threaten to have him committed. And when his dad contracts AIDS, Schmidt has to begin envisioning an entirely new future aloneone he must forge with limited guidance and a lifetime of scars. This title joins the ranks of harrowing true stories such as Dave Pelzer's A Child Called It (1993), Augusten Burrough's Running with Scissors (2002), and other compelling accounts of childhood despair that are painful to read and impossible to put down.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2014, American Library Association.)

July 1, 2015
With unflinching honesty, Schmidt recalls his 1970s'80s childhood, in which loyalty to his abusive, single-parent, homosexual, and eventually HIV-positive father constantly conflicted with his urge to interact beyond his father's circle of "white trash rednecks in hippie clothing." Masterfully balancing his childhood perspective with his adult insight, Schmidt captures a universal struggle with family bonds and a crucial moment in AIDS history.

(Copyright 2015 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)