First Impressions

January 26, 2004
The authors, both psychologists, run a New York–based business that coaches professionals on how they present themselves in business contexts and singles on how they appear during staged dates. In breezy helpful style, this book helps readers identify gaps between self-perception and actual effect. The secret to a good first impression, the authors argue, is "social generosity," carefully helping others feel good about themselves, whether through "appreciation," "connection," "elevation" (good spirits) or "enlightenment" (new information). Each chapter covers one of "Seven Fundamentals of a First Impression" (including the need for self-disclosure and for fluency in conversational dynamics); each ends with a checklist of "positive topic behaviors" and "common miscommunications" (e.g., if you focus on one topic, you may think you're passionate but you come off as self-absorbed). While some insights are basic (eye contact as an indication of interest), the authors thoroughly dissect interactions that are eminently flubbable. For example, the most common violation of "talking with" is "talking at," which can include lecturing, storytelling, sermonizing and telling jokes. The insights presented here are based not just on the authors' experience as consultants but also on the psychological literature: getting in sync with a partner, the research shows, requires coordinated smiling, gesturing and a mutual attentive gaze. The secret to sex appeal? Androgynous characteristics matched with confidence and warmth. This highly practical book ends with suggestions on how to tweak your style, including asking friends for feedback and consciously charting behaviors. To their credit, the authors remind newly enlightened readers of the importance of cutting others slack: somewhat annoying behavior may stem from good intentions.

February 1, 2004
Despite being saddled with a terrible title (it makes the book sound like the cheapest, slickest kind of self-help twaddle), this is a smart, thought-provoking look at the way we present ourselves to the world. The book breaks down the most important moment of any relationship, the initial meeting of two people, into its component parts. The authors ask us to appraise the "first impression" moment from a variety of perspectives. How do others see us? How do we see others? What is our body language saying, and is it contradicting what our mouth is saying? How do we respond to questions, and do we spend too much time talking and not enough listening? Not just a "how-to" book for daters, this volume will also prove helpful to executives looking to build productive relationships with colleagues or clients. Some readers might find it a little facile, and perhaps it is, but its usefulness is abundantly evident all the same.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2004, American Library Association.)

February 15, 2004
A person gets only one chance to make a first impression-and it's often those first few minutes that make or break a potential relationship. Demarais and White, consultants to many Fortune 100 companies, have pooled their knowledge and experience to help people put their best foot forward. They do so by explaining the seven components of a first impression (e.g., accessibility, conversational dynamics, and self-disclosure) and guiding readers through self-assessment exercises. Insight on what behaviors form positive vs. negative impressions is also offered. Both informative and entertaining, this book asks provocative questions that will promote self-awareness and provides many examples of client behavior to reveal the signals that people send during ordinary conversation. It will be especially helpful to those who deal with other people, be they business clients, fellow partygoers, or potential dates. Students in communications or other social sciences might also find the book useful, as it incorporates current research.-Deborah Bigelow, Leonia P.L., NJ

Copyright 2004 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

July 1, 2004
Adult/High School-From friendships to business relationships, first impressions can have a huge personal, emotional, and financial impact on one's life. This book is a review of the scientific literature on how one is perceived by others during the first few minutes of social interaction. The authors summarize the current literature and place it into charts, allowing readers to easily determine the most appropriate strategy for making a good first impression. The material is interesting and flows well. The book is content rich with information that could be used daily by teens as they begin to establish mature personal and professional relationships.-John Kiefman, Fairfax County Public Library, VA

Copyright 2004 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.