Failure to Launch

Starred review from November 1, 2019

Psychologist McConville (Gestalt Inst. of Cleveland) has worked with hundreds of young adults who have struggled with the transition from childhood to adulthood. Studies show that one-quarter of Americans, ages 25 to 34, neither work nor attend school. So what's causing this phenomenon? Helicopter parenting is one source, writes McConville, which results in parents staying engaged in twentysomethings lives to a degree not present in previous generations. Other factors include decreases in earnings, increases in housing costs, shifting norms around sex and marriage, lack of ownership, and fear of rejection. McConville's plan to help young people acquire "adulting" skills--becoming responsible, relational, and relevant--also addresses the vital role that parents play in the issue and ways for establishing healthy boundaries and keeping communication lines open. VERDICT McConville is well qualified to guide parents through the challenges that many face but are less frequently examined. A valuable go-to resource for parents and teens alike.

Copyright 2019 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

November 15, 2019
A clinical psychologist analyzes the widespread problem of people "struggling with adolescent to adult transitions." The trajectory of most American teens is to finish high school, attend college or get a steady job, and launch into the world, standing on their own. However, as McConville (Adolescence: Psychotherapy and the Emergent Self, 1995, etc.)--who has a private practice and is a senior faculty member at the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland--shows in this apt analysis, many young adults don't follow this path and wind up back home with their parents, unable to hold a job, maintain a steady relationship, or thrive in a higher education program. The author points out that teens are more anxious and "worry more and risk less" now than in any previous generation, and he rightly suggests that parents must avoid the temptation to micromanage every decision in their child's life. McConville uses numerous case studies to back up his primary argument that there are three key reasons why this "failure to launch" trend is happening: Young adults don't know how to assume responsibility for themselves and their actions; they lack supportive relationships; and they can't locate a sense of hope and purpose regarding their future. Once McConville breaks down these three elements, he provides readers with practical scenarios that demonstrate how others have worked through these situations to become more well-rounded and -adjusted young adults. The author believes parents need to look at their own parenting behaviors and begin treating their children as the adults they want to be by allowing them to have their own ideas, values, and priorities that are separate from the parents. McConville concludes with a section addressed to the "struggling transitioner," which focuses on one main message: "If you want your parents to stay out of your business, you have to learn to manage your business in a way that doesn't require them to get involved." A straightforward, helpful guide for families struggling with a child's ability to make their own way.

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November 15, 2019
All parents want their children to grow up to be happy, well-adjusted adults with successful careers and blissful marriages. But often the transition from troubled teen to amiable adult doesn't go smoothly. Parents have become increasingly involved in their children's lives, according to clinical psychologist McConville, and twentysomethings are often unsure how to go off on their own. Using challenges and successes gleaned from his practice, the author describes the skills young people need to move on to adulthood, including becoming responsible, relational, and relevant. Even more important, McConville details what parents can and can't do to help their children. He offers ways to get past parental guilt, set boundaries, motivate, and communicate. He reminds readers that twentysomethings in transition need support, not coddling, and that staying connected is often difficult but worth the effort. He also reminds readers that it's smart to ask for professional help for both parents and children when situations become overwhelming. McConville's style is welcoming, and his advice is reassuring. Parents facing these challenges (and there are plenty) will snap this up.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)