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That's Not What I Meant!
How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships
1 of 1 copy available
At home, on the job, in a personal relationship, it's often not what you say but how you say it that counts.
Deborah Tannen revolutionized our thinking about relationships between women and men in her #1 bestseller You Just Don't Understand. In That's Not What I Meant!, the internationally renowned sociolinguist and expert on communication demonstrates how our conversational signals—voice level, pitch and intonation, rhythm and timing, even the simple turns of phrase we choose—are powerful factors in the success or failure of any relationship. Regional speech characteristics, ethnic and class backgrounds, age, and individual personality all contribute to diverse conversational styles that can lead to frustration and misplaced blame if ignored—but provide tools to improve relationships if they are understood.
At once eye-opening, astute, and vastly entertaining, Tannen's classic work on interpersonal communication will help you to hear what isn't said and to recognize how your personal conversational style meshes or clashes with others. It will give you a new understanding of communication that will enable you to make the adjustments that can save a conversation . . . or a relationship.
"Tannen combines a novelist's ear for the way people speak with a rare power of original analysis. . . . Fascinating." —Oliver Sacks
"We are, all of us, foreigners to each other: editor and writer, man and woman, Californian and New Yorker, friend and friend. Dr. Tannen shows us how different we are, and how to speak the same language." —Jack Rosenthal, Pulitzer Prize winner and editor, The New York Times
"Tannen has a marvelous ear for the way real people express themselves and a scientist's command of the inner structures of speech and human relationships." —Los Angeles Times
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Creators
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Publisher
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Release date
February 27, 2024 -
Formats
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Kindle Book
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OverDrive Read
- ISBN: 9780062210111
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EPUB ebook
- ISBN: 9780062210111
- File size: 929 KB
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Languages
- English
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Reviews
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January 1, 1986
Part pop psychology, part sociology and part anthropology, this book by a linguistics professor at Georgetown University focuses on the uncomfortable moments when a conversation inexplicably breaks down, and suggests how such awkwardness can be avoided. Noting that there exist a plethora of books on public speaking, Tannen instead considers "private speaking,'' and particularly the ``metamessages'' we transmitwhat we say, our attitude toward those we speak with, and the specific occasioninvolving such elements as loudness, pitch and intonation. Using scenarios that illustrate communication gaps, Tannen also attempts to show readers how to save their marriages and triumph in job interviews. BOMC alternate. January 17
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