Calm the Chaos

June 19, 2023
“More than structure, discipline, or even consistency, your child needs to be seen, heard, understood, and empowered,” contends Lemon Lime Adventures blogger and mother of three Abraham (The Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Every Day) in this compassionate program. Her five-stage plan for meeting the needs of children who are neurodivergent or have behavioral issues offers parents guidance on keeping calm, taking better care of oneself, defusing crises, heading off tantrums, and solving problems as a family. Explaining the triggers of misbehaviors, the author suggests that crying over small problems can signal an inability to self-regulate emotions, while refusing to do chores might stem from a fear of “doing it wrong again.” Abraham encourages parents to de-escalate outbursts by adopting body language that “tells your child... they’re safe, loved, and secure,” including crouching close to the ground and softening one’s voice. The exercises are pragmatic (for instance, parents should try preventing blowups by listing the events preceding a recent one and determining when they might have intervened), and Abraham’s account of learning to help her own son, who threw screaming fits so severe his principal threatened to turn him over to the police when he was in second grade, attests to her hard-won expertise. Overwhelmed parents will find this a boon.