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A revolutionary guide to identifying self-loss—that feeling of being adrift, disconnected from your true Self—and discovering the freedom that comes from taking responsibility for how we live and who we become, from an existential psychotherapist, USA Today columnist, and Instagram’s popular “Millennial Therapist”
So many of us feel lonely, unfulfilled, or trapped—in our roles and relationships, in cycles of self-sabotage and bad decisions, by our patterns and misguided attempts to feel happy or to feel something. According to existential psychotherapist Sara Kuburic, it doesn’t have to be so difficult. Really.
The answer is found in facing ourselves—whatever version that might be, regardless of whether we like the person we see reflected back to us. It’s about accepting full responsibility for the choices and actions that create our reality. It’s about finally taking ownership of this person we call our “Self.” It’s about realizing that it’s on us to figure out the two most essential questions: “Who am I” and “Why am I here?” and then to live accordingly.
In It’s on Me, Kuburic unpacks “self-loss,” giving us new vocabulary to understand this rarely talked about experience and offers tools she’s used for years to help clients recover. Self-loss becomes apparent when we do not recognize ourselves in our actions, words, or relationships; when we lose sight of who we truly are, and feel the pain and emptiness from performing or observing life, rather than living it. Guiding us through her unique process of self-reflection, acceptance, and discovery, Kuburic proves that we can
• experience but not feel overpowered by our emotions
• establish a healthy connection to our bodies
• set loving boundaries to define ourselves and heal our relationships
• declutter our physical and mental environments to create space for our true Self to thrive
• find meaning and purpose in a seemingly meaningless world
Revelatory and empowering, Kuburic shows how we can stop sleepwalking our way through the lives we don’t want and step into our most vibrant, authentic, and meaningful Self. In doing so, we unlock a deep sense of connection to our innermost being, and to those around us.
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Creators
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Publisher
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Release date
September 19, 2023 -
Formats
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Kindle Book
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OverDrive Read
- ISBN: 9780593449288
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EPUB ebook
- ISBN: 9780593449288
- File size: 5715 KB
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Languages
- English
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Reviews
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August 28, 2023
Psychotherapist Kuburic debuts with a liberating guide to confronting “self loss” and tackling “arguably the two most daunting questions: Who am I? Why am I here?” After surviving a traumatic childhood during the Bosnian and Kosovan wars, ending up in a loveless marriage, and enduring a challenging graduate school program, the author at 24 experienced a panic attack that spurred her to realize she was suffering from self loss, or the lack of “congruence” with “who we truly are” that lies “at the heart of so much... human suffering.” According to Kuburic, this “estrangement” can be caused by strict rules from one’s family or religion, “self betrayals,” or “life-altering events” that erode one’s sense of agency. As a corrective, readers should acknowledge the self-loss and their own “actions that have perpetuated” it, before “decluttering” their lives of the thoughts, habits, and relationships that contradict their “true Self” (“Much like when I got rid of an itchy wool sweater to make space in my suitcase, I decided to stop thinking about the opinions people had about my pending divorce”). Kuburic skillfully weaves therapeutic know-how with intimate personal reflections to chart a path toward an “authentic, free, and meaningful” life that aligns with one’s morals, even if it’s not always “easy, pleasant, or perfect.” This provides much-needed motivation for the emotionally adrift. -
June 10, 2024
The concept of finding oneself may be one of life's few universal themes. In this book, psychotherapist Kuburic integrates her clinical work, research, and personal experiences to share what it means when people lose that sense of self--and provides ideas about how to reclaim it. There are raw, real moments as Kuburic recounts the fear she faced in her 20s that she might "shatter" or "break" before "breaking free." Mixing Taylor Swift references with definitions from the DSM and theories from existentialist philosophy, Kuburic crafts a sensitive approach to sharing her struggles and opening them up into practices she's used with clients so that readers will put down the book feeling seen. She asks big, bold questions about identity and shared humanness, and she's written a book that will appeal to readers interested in how they might embody their own answers to these questions. VERDICT Recommended as a next step for readers who have begun practices of introspection and want to find shared experiences, common patterns, and valuable tools for continuing their journeys of self-discovery.--Emily Bowles
Copyright 2024 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
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