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“In this wonderful book, William Ury teaches us how to say No—with grace and effect—so that we might create an even better Yes.”—Jim Collins, author of Good to Great
In The Power of a Positive No, William Ury of Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation teaches you how to take the next step toward getting what you want. It all begins with the most powerful and perhaps most important word in any situation: No.
But saying the wrong kind of No can destroy what we value and alienate others. That’s why saying No the right way—to people at work, at home, and in our communities—is crucial.
You’ll learn how to:
• Assert your own interests while respecting the other side’s
• Use power effectively
• Defuse the other side’s attack, manipulation, and guilt tactics
• Reduce stress and anxiety
• Develop healthier relationships
• Stand up for yourself without stepping on the other person’s toes
In today’s world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say Yes grows greater every day, producing overload and overwork, expanding e-mail and eroding ethics. Never has No been more needed. And with The Power of a Positive No, we can learn how to use No to profoundly transform our lives by enabling us to say Yes to what counts—our own needs, values, and priorities.
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Creators
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Publisher
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Release date
February 27, 2007 -
Formats
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Kindle Book
- ISBN: 9780553903522
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OverDrive Read
- ISBN: 9780553903522
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EPUB ebook
- ISBN: 9780553903522
- File size: 2132 KB
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Languages
- English
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Reviews
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January 1, 2007
Twenty-five years after the publication of the bestselling Getting to Yes
, Ury addresses the other side of the coin, but his version of "No" is not a simple rejection. "A Positive No begins with Yes and ends with Yes," he says, because it defines the nay-sayer's self-interests and paves the way for a continued relationship. Ury delineates this "Yes! No. Yes?" pattern recursively, so that each step is itself another three-part process. In addition to drawing on his own experiences as a negotiator for conflicts in countries like Chechnya and Venezuela, and the historical examples of activists like Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi, he shows how his principles can be used in the home and the workplace. He even throws in a few literary precedents, citing Melville's Bartleby the Scrivener
, whose repetition of the phrase "I would prefer not to" is cited as a "simple and admirable" method of polite refusal. Some of Ury's advice, like describing how another's actions make you feel rather than attacking the action, may strike the more cynical minded as touchy-feely, but his reminders to consider the other person's perspective while asserting your own position create a clear, unambiguous path to win-win situations. -
Starred review from February 15, 2007
In a world rife with discord, Ury (Global Negotiation Project, Harvard Law Sch.) provides a much-needed voice of sanity and reason. Since 1978, his books have been helping the general public, businesspeople, and world leaders alike. Here, he flips the message of his "New York Times" best-selling "Getting to Yes", addressing those who have trouble saying no. Ury writes that many of us spend our lives submitting "to inappropriate demands, injustice, even abuseor we engage in destructive fighting in which everyone loses." All too often, he states, people accommodate, attack, or avoid. Ury shows how we can break that cycle by stepping away from negative emotions such as fear, guilt, and anger and finding the courage to say no. One of his more important points is that saying no doesn't mean you can't reach out to the person whose request you're denying and attain a compromise that will satisfy both sides. In this way, he helps us better understand ourselves and others. This work on an all-too-common problem should assist many; highly recommended for all public and academic libraries. [See Prepub Alert, "LJ" 11/1/06.]Mary E. Jones, Los Angeles P.L.Copyright 2007 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
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