Everything You Ever Wanted

April 13, 2015
Los Angeles author Lauren (Some Girls; Pretty) again demonstrates her keen ability to transform unusual experiences into brave writerly fodder. Married to a rock musician who established on the first date that he was looking to start a family, Lauren eagerly left her life as a drug-abusing exotic dancer to embrace a more conventional lifestyle as a homemaking wife in the upscale Los Angeles suburb of Eagle Rock—albeit as the tattooed wife of Weezer’s bass player. Unable to conceive a child, they tried fertility treatments and all manner of alternative remedies until, Lauren, in her 30s, decided it was time to consider adoption—a process she was familiar with, having being been adopted herself. Her husband, Scott, was more wary, yet eventually embraced the idea of adopting a boy from Ethiopia. While the actual adoption went smoothly, and the year-old boy, Tariku, was healthy and bright, he had some trauma-related issues involving attachment and aggression. Lauren describes Tariku as a toddler prone to biting and hitting, which got him expelled from several groups and schools, and explains how she and Scott got help in implementing non-punitive techniques to ensure their son felt loved and safe while teaching him more sociable behaviors. This is a heartfelt story of a very real mom whose own baggage and fears did not hinder her from becoming a caring, suitable parent to a child with special needs.

March 15, 2015
Exploring how we see identity through the process of adoption.Readers of Lauren's Some Girls (2010) need no introduction to bring them up to speed for her second memoir. In her first book, she chronicled how, at age 18, she turned to stripping and prostitution when her efforts at acting weren't moving forward. She learned of a unique audition, and that led to a "role" in the harem of a Brunei prince. The end of that book provided a tidy wrap-up of where she'd landed-married to the bass player from Weezer and the adoptive mother of a boy from Ethiopia-that suggested, perhaps inadvertently, smooth sailing from there forward. Not so, as we find in this second memoir, which rewinds the story a bit to pick up before her marriage and tell how their relationship started, their early time together, and their efforts to conceive a child. Lauren's writing takes the shine off of the happily-ever-after of conceiving. She writes of feeling convinced, over and over, that each month was going to be "the one," only to sink deeper into disappointment. She also found herself filled with questions about her own fitness to serve the roles through which she came to identify herself: a wife, a mother, a daughter. She recalls trying to cover her tattoos, stop swearing, and maintain an endlessly cheerful attitude, expecting herself to be judged during the adoption process, only to uncover her own prejudices. The author also recounts the challenges of adopting a child who has suffered significant trauma, the family shunning that came as a result of her previous memoir, and the enormous struggle to get help for their son. Lauren's writing is brave and honest, and she calls out hypocrisy wherever she sees it and shines a light on the challenges faced during the adoption process.

April 15, 2015
Lauren's second memoir, after Some Girls (2010), her arresting account of life as a stripper, call girl, and member of a prince's harem, chronicles the next stage of her life, marriage and motherhood. Her rock-and-roll lifestyle continues as she marries Weezer bassist Scott Shriner, even as they dream of becoming parents. As time passes with no pregnancy, Lauren tries fertility testing, diet changes, and consulting psychics and Maori tribal healers. Finally, she and Scott adopt an Ethiopian son. Lauren discovers both the normal challenges of a first-time parent and the unique circumstances of her son's special needs. After Lauren's parents disown her when Some Girls comes out, and her best friend dies from a drug overdose, her son becomes her one joy and sometime heartbreak. Failed child care, multiple doctors and opinions, financially draining services, and misunderstood behaviors are just some of the obstacles Lauren encounters as she learns to take care of and truly love the unique boy in her life. An honest, rawly emotional story of one woman's not-as-planned journey into motherhood.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)